How Many Ways Can You Say Vomit?

English is a colorful language. Maybe lots of languages are equally colorful; I wouldn't know, since I only speak English. But English, for sure, is colorful.

For example, how many ways can one express the idea of vomiting?

vomit

throw up

upchuck

get sick

puke

hurl

barf

yang

spew

ralph

spit up (only appropriate for newborns)

And those were just off the top of my head. A quick perusal of a thesaurus adds:

disgorge

bring up

heave

eject

emit

expel

regurgitate

retch (good one!)

ruminate

But the best ones are the euphemisms that I suspect were all created by college frat boys:

toss your cookies

lose your lunch

shout at your shoes

blow chow

the multicolored yawn

drive the big white Buick

recycle your lunch

I have declined to include many of the most colorful expressions because they made me, well, a little nauseated. If you are really curious, you can see more at www.VomitNames.com (I am not making this up. Click at your own risk).

And to those who are already planning to e-rebuke me for this post: you are right. I apologize.

I like this blog post alot...

Thanks to my friend David Sims for pointing me to this post by a grammar nazi with an unusually good attitude.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

How Nerds Shape Language

I'm old enough now to assume that I'm always way behind the times. I guess it takes longer for slang and cultural idioms to trickle down to forty-somethings. I apologize, therefore, to any geeky but culturally aware readers for only recently discovering the word "pwned."

For the likewise ignorant, it's pronounced "poned": rhymes with "owned."

It's not coincidental either. The word is used to describe the victim of a practical joke, or the loser in a battle (usually a computer/video game virtual battle), as in "You got pwned!" or "I totally pwned you!"

When I was a high school teacher a decade ago, the word was "used."

So, what gives with the spelling and weird pronunciation? The most common explanation is that the programmer of a popular computer game mistyped the word "owned," which appeared on screen when the player lost. He hit the "p" key instead of the "o" key, and nobody caught it. At least not for a long while.

So instead of getting "owned," losers got "pwned."

Used or Pre-Owned?

I just heard an ad on the radio for a local car dealer. It occurred to me that used cars are now commonly referred to as "pre-owned" cars. But the prefix "pre-" doesn't mean "previously" does it? It means "before" as in pregame, Precambrian, prepaid and, well, prefix. A pre-owned car should mean a car that has not yet been owned--and therefore new. Right?

What "With All Due Respect" Really Means...

I don't care who you are, or who you think you are, I'm about to give you a piece of my mind.

Some Shakespeare We Didn't Know Was Shakespeare

It's pretty mind-blowing how much William Shakespeare has influenced our language. He's been gone about 400 years, but we keep using his expressions. All of the following oft-repeated phrases come from the Bard:

All that glitters is not gold
As (good) luck would have it
Bated breath
Be-all and end-all
Discretion is the better part of valor (Orig: The better part of valor is discretion)
Brave new world
Brevity is the sould of wit
Come what may (Orig: Come what come may)
Crack of doom
Dead as a doornail
Devil incarnate
Eaten me out of house and home
Elbow room
Fool's paradise
Forever and a day
For goodness' sake
Foregone conclusion
The game is up
Give the devil his due
Good riddance
It was Greek to me
Heart of gold
Hoist with his own petard
Household words
My kingdom for a horse!
In a pickle
In my mind's eye
Kill with kindness
Killing frost
Knock, Knock! Who's there?
Laughing stock
Lie low
Love is blind
Melted into thin air
There's a method to my madness (Orig: Though this be madness, yet there is method in it)
Milk of human kindness
Naked truth
Neither rhyme nor reason
Not slept one wink
One fell swoop
Out of the jaws of death
Own flesh and blood
Parting is such sweet sorrow
A piece of work
A plague on both your houses
Play fast and loose
Pomp and circumstance
Pound of flesh
Primrose path
Make short shrift
Sick at heart
A sorry sight
Spotless reputation
Still waters run deep (Orig: Smooth runs the water where the brook is deep)
A twice-told tale
Set my teeth on edge
Tell the truth and shame the devil
There's the rub
To thine own self be true
Too much of a good thing
Tower of strength
Wear my heart upon my sleeve
What the dickens
What's done is done
Wild-goose chase
Working-day world
The world's my oyster
Yeoman's service

How many times have you used these expressions, or heard them used? How many did you know originated with the Bard?

Heteronyms are words with different meanings and pronunciations that are spelled identically. Say what? You'd think we could change up a letter or two just to avoid confusion, but no, when I say "moped" I might mean a motorized bicycle or I might mean that I felt glum and lazy yesterday.

What I find interesting about heteronyms, however, is that they are common, yet most of us hardly notice them. Context seems to make the pronunciations and definitions clear without a conscious thought:

"Feeling sorry for myself, I moped around all afternoon until I decided to enjoy the sunshine and take my moped for a spin."

Here are some other examples. Thanks to Dani for the e-mail!

• We must polish the Polish furniture.
• He could lead if he would get the lead out.
• The farm was used to produce produce.
• The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
• The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
• This was a good time to present the present.
• A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
• When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• I did not object to the object.
• The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
• They were too close to the door to close it.
• The buck does funny things when the does are present.
• They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
• To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
• The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
• After a number of injections my jaw got number.
• Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
• I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
• How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I hope you are content with the content of this post.